Stop. Breathe. And Smile.

Life is too short.

We sort through a a million thoughts a day. We hear and see a million different moments. Which will be the moments we hold onto? What words will we remember hearing? And what thoughts will we deem as significant?

My mind has been going 100 mph lately...I'm constantly thinking about the future and about my next move in life. Sometimes our path splits into two directions and we are left standing at a crossroad that can alter our lives forever. It is too often that we stand there and scratch our heads that we forget that the world and everything else around us is still moving, regardless if our momentum has slowed down.

I've been so preoccupied with the future of my family that sometimes I forget to live for today. I've seen young people...friends...pass away much too soon. I've seen healthy adults receive the news that they're not as invincible as they thought. Reality happens too fast to the precious time that we are given today. When I die, I want to be able to smile at the things I did do, and not the things I planned on doing.

This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to spend every penny that I get as I get it or that I am going to party like it's 1995 (Or in my case 2005). But sometimes I need a good jolt back to reality. Someone to say "Hey! You're getting older but you're too busy worrying about tomorrow to notice!"

So here I am..telling myself that today is more important than tomorrow. And to remind myself of that on a more consistent basis, I'm going to make a bucket list. Not my wishes for the future or things I hope to see before I die (i.e. See Rosalie get married or celebrate my 50th anniversary with Anthony) but a realistic list of 10 personal endeavors that I'd like to accomplish sometime before I kick the bucket. These things don't require age, assistance, or experience (maybe money) but rather, my full attention to living for today.

Ria's Bucket List
1) Write a book. (I already have ideas I just need to get them on paper)
2) Host a formal dinner party in which all the food is prepared from scratch...by me.
3) Go Island hopping in Greece.
4) Read the bible from cover to cover.
5) Go to Comic-Con to see all my favorite celebs in person
6) Take a road trip all the way up California's Coastline using only Pacific Coast Highway.
7) Take a pottery class. (I'd love to be able to make my own home decor)
8) Brew my own beer
9) See the Northern Lights
10) Create/research my family tree

There it is. Little things I've always wanted to experience for myself that I've never taken the time to do. If you can offer any help/advice on something on my list, please share! This isn't wishful thinking people, this is the real deal!

So, what's on your bucket list?

Wrestling With My Self Image

At the beginning of June, I made a pledge to myself that I would really start trying to lose the baby weight and get myself healthy again. It's July 5, and here I am, 3 lbs lighter and starting to lose motivation.

At 6 months postpartum, I currently weigh in at 128 lbs. And just to refresh your memory, I was 133 lbs at 2 months postpartum. I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, in fact, I'm currently 2 sizes up from where I want to be.

Since June, I've began to calorie count, I've joined 24 Hour Fitness (loving the classes by the way), and I have done at least 30 minutes of physical activity at least 5 times a week. I'm trying not to whine here, but why haven't I seen any results? I am still breastfeeding so I am eating at least 1800 calories a day to ensure that my milk supply isn't negatively affected by a drastic change in my diet. But I am making healthier food choices and have cut out a lot of junk from my diet.

I've promised on my blog to share my weight loss journey, and normally I wouldn't waste an entry on an incessant rant about how frustrated I am with myself, but here I am, looking for some answers. I've really been struggling to accept my new motherly body, because honestly, I didn't think it would be THIS hard to lose the weight. I know I've only been working at it for a month now, but I'm tired of having to wear spanks..and for the first time in a long time, shopping for new clothes isn't so fun.

How do all these new moms lose all the weight plus more? Working full time, I find it very hard to leave for the gym when I get home because all I have with her is those few hours a day from the time I get home until her bedtime. Lately, I've been going to the gym at lunch and early on the weekends. But it feels like it's not enough. The scale isn't budging, and neither is this deflated balloon of a tummy that I have going on.

Please, someone tell me what to do! I need some weight loss buddies. I need some motivation. I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Because right now, the image of a delicious In-N-Out burger is clouding my mind. I'm literally going crazy here with this weight loss thing. Why is so hard to be a woman? Anthony doesn't drink soda for a week and BAM! He loses 5 lbs. Seriously???

Sigh. I'm sorry for a wasted entry. But it sure does feel good to get that off my chest.