What I've learned:
1) Stay Hungry.
Sometimes you are so happy with your life that you become content. And in some ways contentment can lead to boredom. And boredom, well, can lead to a lot of other things. I've learned that it's important to always keep strategizing your future together. Right now, we are in this happy little routine where we know exactly who does what and what goes where, etc. Rosalie is 16 months old now and as fun as ever. We are very much enjoying our time with her and our time together. We could easily say we are happy with where we are but where does that lead us?
When we were dating, Anthony always told me that relationships are like rollercoasters. They go up and down and in order to keep the ride interesting, you HAD to throw an uphill in there. Some kind of struggle or accomplishment that you'd go through and strive to overcome together. Whenever we hit a downhill, he always did his best to keep things interesting. And for that, I love him. First we bought a dog, then we got engaged, then we had a baby..well you get the point. It keeps our relationship interesting and our eyes focused on the prize. At the end of the rollercoaster, you want your hair to be messed up and your underarms sweaty so you can look back and say "WHOA. Best ride ever!"
2) A good relationship involves two really great forgivers.
Couples fight. Fights are an essential part of your relationship. When you're married, a whole new genre of fighting comes into your lives. What do I mean by that? Well, when we were in college, jealousy plagued our relationship. But now, most of our jealousy issues have completely gone away. No longer do the days exist when we fight about "the girl in the picture who's arm is wrapped around you a little too tightly".
NOW we fight about things that actually make sense and that have meaning in our lives. Is this a good thing? No. We don't fight often, but when we do, it's actually a lot more painful and more aggressive because fighting only take place when deep rooted issues come out to bite us in the ass. Now, our fights involve arguments that are a matter of our well being, such as finance and decisions about the future of our family.
When you're married, your tolerance and forgiving nature must increase ten fold. Not only do you have to learn to forgive whatever that other person says in the heat of an argument, but you must be patient enough to not throw the word "divorce" out there whenever you hit a block in the road (something I've had to learn that hard way). Obviously, you will make mistakes and so will your partner, but it's really about learning to move past things quickly and not holding grudges because the last thing you want in your relationship is something holding you back from true happiness. You did promise to be with them forever.
3) Keep finding things in common.
Just because you're married, doesn't mean that you're not always changing. I find myself always looking for new hobbies and suddenly disliking things that I once adored. I used to be a huge fan of reality television, and now I'm so sick of it that I could slap Kim Kardashian's pretty little face. People are always growing and changing, which is why you always have to find a way to keep each other entertained. You must learn to humor the other person. He doesn't like every show that I do, but he's learned to love all the housewives on Wisteria lane just because that's what I do every Sunday night. I'm not particulary a big fan of the Miami Heat, but sure, I'll root for them too because it makes him happy whenever they win. Give and take. It's the only way you'll keep enjoying spending time together.
4) Keep looking at the big picture.
From the moment you say "I do", you'll have to sacrifice a lot to make it work. Sometimes the sacrifices are small and other times, they're really really big. I've never been asked to leave my comfort zone so many times except since we've been married. We've both had to suffer a little bit to get us to where we want to be. It's easy to forget sometimes what you're doing it for, which is why you have to remember to look at the bigger picture. So whether it's living at one of your parents' house for a little bit to save for a house, or working a little more hours so your spouse can find a new job, be supportive. There will always be huge decisions to make. Choose the one where it benefits your entire family, even if it means being "uncomfortable" for the time being. Take it all in stride. Give 100% of yourself if you know that it is what's best for everyone in the end.
Well, what can I say? It's been a progressive, exciting, and amazing year and I'm learning more and more as we go. Being married isn't all rainbows and butterflies. It really is hard work. But trust me, when you find the person that's worth doing it for, all of it just becomes a lesson in the road of life. You always need the bad times to appreciate the good.
I am forever grateful for the blessing in my life that is my husband. Two years into it and I've learned more about myself than I ever did in my whole adolescent life. Today isn't an anniversary. It's a freakin' celebration! So happy anniversary babe, I love you with all my heart and soul. May God continue to bless us with health, happiness, and beautiful children who carry the attributes of their amazing father.
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