One Week Postpartum

Ever wonder what happens after people go home with their baby? The trend that I usually see with my friends who find out they're expecting is that they post a plethora of "preggo" pics all the way up to the adorable hospital photo where all the newborns get the same ol' hat and blankie to announce that the little one has finally come. For a few months the pictures slow down except for an occasional close up of a sleepy newborn - then BAM! A couple months later they're back at it posting pictures of themselves looking great and happier than ever with a super cute and magically chubby baby by their side (3 months of religiously nursing will do that). Sound familiar?

The first few months of having a newborn are grueling and at the same time very rewarding. This first week for us has had its ups and downs - there are moments when I am so filled with joy and just love soaking in every minute of our family of four. But there are also moments when I'm teetering on the edge of sanity wishing that I could be four places at once. This time around, the balancing act for me has been between Rosalie and Recovery.

Even when we started TRYING for this baby I was scared of how Rosalie would react. The main reason why I wanted another child is because I wanted Rosalie to have a sibling. A playmate for life. Don't get me wrong - she LOVES this baby. She has been so anxious to hold him, kiss him, and hug him. She thinks he's a little doll and wants to take him EVERYWHERE. Even with the littlest noises he makes, she can't help but swoon over his cuteness. At the same time, I can also tell she's dealing with emotions that she doesn't know how to handle. She seems resentful now that our attention is split between the two of them. Sometimes I can't tell if it's all a part of her "terrible twos" or if her temper tantrums have doubled. The other day, she was so upset with me because I wouldn't get up from nursing Elijah to follow her into her bedroom. She didn't want to speak to me and she quietly cried in her bed. I felt SO bad. That topped with an overdose of estrogen and I was sent into a crying fit of my own. "My poor baby", I thought to myself. We've had a few moments like this but I just have to keep telling myself that it takes some serious adjusting from every member of the family when a new baby comes home. And just knowing that Rosalie is going to love life a little more because she has a baby brother to share it with in the future makes me feel just a tad bit better.

Recovery time? Hardly existent. It's definitely been a struggle now that there are two kids in the picture. This time around, I definitely expected the sleepless nights and the half sane days, so that's not what is so bad. What has been difficult for me is dealing with my self image and learning to take it easy. Elijah has been an amazing baby thus far. He eats, sleeps, and poops. Probably all in a 3 hour cycle that just repeats itself so its just a matter of me getting used to his schedule and learning to sleep when he sleeps. I've been so busy trying to accommodate for Rosalie and keeping the house clean for visitors that I haven't really had time to rest. I even tried to fit a little walk in the other day because I am SO anxious to exercise again but I failed miserably and ended up back at home with a sore bottom and a lot of regret. My body has definitely taken it harder this time around - I gained about 32 lbs with this pregnancy and came home from the hospital a mere 11 lbs lighter. I feel and look so different that it's hard not to be a little bummed about it. All I know is that once I hit my 6 week postpartum check up and the doc says its ok, I am definitely going to find time to go to the gym and at least TRY to start feeling like myself again. Trying not to beat myself up about how I look has been a big part of recovery for me...It HAS only been one week so I'm hoping that breastfeeding combined with giving my body the time it needs to heal will help me start feeling better.

Sleepy Newborn Photo #1

Having a baby is euphoric. You leave the hospital feeling like a champ for popping out another human being, but once the fog has lifted, you see that the road to a full recovery (mentally and physically) is full of twists and turns. If you're anything like me, you find yourself up and breastfeeding a fussy baby at 3 o'clock in the morning with sore nipples and a pounding headache trolling online feeds  for other new moms who are just as crazy as you are. But, speaking from experience, it took me about 3 months the first time to feel in tune with my motherhood and finally shake off the baby blues so I expect about the same, if not more, for this one.

Having survived this first week with two kids was quite the experience in many good ways. There are moments when I ask myself why I do the things I do, but I look over and see my loving and supportive husband -  half as exhausted as I am with Rosalie climbing on his back asking him to "crawl faster daddy!" - and then I look down in my arms and see my perfect little Elijah who  is healthy and peacefully sleeping - and then I remember: I truly love this life of mine and it can only get better from here.