The Journey Home

After almost 5 years of marriage and 2 kids later, we have finally been blessed with a home. I know this may be a small thing for some people, but for some reason, it feels like an enormous milestone for us - maybe because it has taken so much to get here and it has been a dream of ours that has always felt so far away. The journey here wasn't easy, but we finally made it!

Since the day that we started planning our future together, a house was always in the cards, but things kept happening in our lives that would always discourage us making it seem like getting a home would be impossible. Instead of enjoying our first few years of marriage and saving a down payment for the home, we had kids right away and they definitely took up most of our time and monetary resources. Whenever we would try to pull ourselves out of debt and save money, the "unexpected" expenses would pile up and we had to put the goal of having a home on the backburner several times. It wasn't until we had Elijah that we realized we needed more than just a two bedroom apartment - we needed a home.

Throughout the years, we've made so many life changing decisions. In 5 years of marriage, we have moved 4 times, each time a more taxing experience. And even though we've never really settled in a place for more than 18 months at a time, it feels like each time we gained more and more stuff to move. When the rent at our apartment got raised so high, we started to put some serious thought into buying a home. That was a very tough decision to make this year - To move away from our comfort zone and put ourselves out there to look for a house with not a very big budget OR stay in an apartment and keep renting comfortably until we could afford a nicer house with a bigger budget (which could have taken another 2 to 4 years).

It's crossroads like these that really test the bounds of your partnership with your spouse, and you'd better believe we weren't always on the same page. But somehow, we got led onto the roller coaster ride that is the current housing market which is definitely much more seller friendly than we would have liked. We started off looking in areas that we didn't LOVE but could get more bang for our buck. With kids, there is so much more to consider - school district, safety, babysitter situation, space for toys, etc. Occasionally, we would casually venture into the more expensive parts of town for homes that were great deals, but would often get our hopes crushed when we were outbid by the much more qualified competition.

Needless to say, it was four months of very active looking and the drawing up of what seemed like endless amounts of papers to be signed until we finally came across the one. We wanted to take a break from looking for a while until this home came up on the listings and we just HAD to see this one last house. We loved it from the moment we saw it - it was in the better area of town, had the most square footage out of anything we saw and could afford, and although it needed some TLC, had so much potential. It was a foreclosed home and according to the seller, it had a not-so-hefty price tag because of the jungle of a backyard that it had, which wasn't really a big deal to us.

So we made an offer, and to our surprise, it was accepted a couple days later. It was a wave of shock that one of our offers was finally accepted, let alone for  a home that we really loved! Long story short, we  were scared, excited and nervous all at once. We fell out of escrow for a little bit because of some repairs that were not addressed - but after some negotiations and much thought on our part, the house officially was ours on August 6th.

With some extra cash, a good contractor, and a little bit of elbow grease, we have fixed up this home from being a neglected foreclosure, to the starter home of our dreams. I am so humbled and happy about this huge blessing that has been given to us, especially because we never thought it to be possible. If you would have told me back in March that I was going to own THIS home in a few short months, I probably would've laughed it off and yelled at you for being so cruel. But here we are. It may not be the biggest or newest home in a popular city, but to us, it is such a big achievement. It hasn't quite settled in yet because we haven't officially started living there, but after seeing my bank account, I am reminded that it is very real. Lol!

Lastly, I just want to say that none of this would've been possible without the help of my very loving and generous in-laws. They've invested so much in our family and I hope they know that the happiness they've given us is priceless! Thank you to my parents who have opened up their home for us to live in while we saved money and looked for a home. And of course, thank you also to our realtor, my Tita Winnie, who guided us through the whole process with patience (And our loan officer, Rufina, too!) So if you're looking for a good team to help you with your next home, hit me up for their information.

It's been quite the journey for Anthony and I. We have definitely never disagreed as much as we have until we started looking for a house - but through lots of prayer and somewhat rational discussion, we have always managed to navigate ourselves to some common ground. And NOW, we're both learning the ropes of homeownership. (Thank goodness for my dad and my grandpa who are always there to help teach Anthony the basics of keeping your house functioning). There's nothing more attractive than a guy who can assemble furniture, ignite a pilot light, and entertain a toddler at the same time!

Well, without further adieu, here are some before and after photos of our lovely new abode!

This is what it looked like when we first bought it...Everything was brown and gold! The kitchen had formica countertops, and the flooring was all carpet and vinyl. Also, all of the cabinets were flimsy and were lined with disgusting old wallpaper.

 

Here is our backyard before and after clean up. We had a huge pile of debris on the side of the house..literally like 3 feet high and weeds growing everywhere.

Here are some of the AFTER photos - new apron sink, quartz countertops downstairs and all granite upstairs. All the cabinets have been replaced, the fireplace painted, bathtubs reglazed, and all flooring replaced with laminate wood all around and tile in the bathrooms.

More after photos - Added shutters, changed all the lighting fixtures from gold to brushed nickel, changed the old fluorescent lighting in the kitchen to recessed bulbs, knocked down a cabinet and put pendant lighting in the kitchen, and changed all the baseboards.
 

 

Preparing to be mom..again.

It's been quite a while since my last post and a lot has happened since then. When I first started this blog, I was newly married and anxiously awaiting the birth of our first child. Now here I am, pregnant with the second, and things this time around couldn't be more different.

2012 was a great year. It was a year where I did some "growing up" and found myself exhausting my social life to the point where I was finally ready to settle down and say "Ok, I'm ready for another baby". I was enjoying having my body back and Rosalie was growing so beautifully that everyone wanted to babysit her for a day or two, which left me with some "me" time. I think I'm at that point now where I've exhausted all of that "me" time and all I ever want these days is "us" time.

It takes a lot of financial and emotional preparation to plan for another baby, but luckily, we were blessed with so much this past year that we were finally able to reach that point. And plus, Rosalie is getting to a point now where all she loves to do is play, play play, so we figured that it was time to give her a more capable playmate.

It didn't happen right away like we had expected it to. It actually took 4 good months to finally get a positive pregnancy test - and although that doesn't sound long to some - it felt like an eternity to me. You really don't realize how scary it is to try to have a baby until you actually TRY to have a baby. Although all the formulas were right, the results were just not there and it got a little discouraging.

Needless to say, when I finally got that positive pregnancy test 2 days after Christmas, it was the best Christmas present EVER. And although we were expecting it in a way, it was still a big surprise when it actually happened. Even now, in my 15th week of pregnancy, I still don't think it has sunk in. I still can't believe that God has chosen us to bring TWO tiny humans into this world. It's such a huge responsibility, but nothing short of an amazing blessing for us.

Unlike my first pregnancy,  I definitely feel the effects of this one. I was so sick up until a couple weeks ago that I could hardly hold anything down. My food aversions were stronger than ever and I was so fatigued that I was in bed everyday by 9pm. It is also different this time around because instead of going home and lounging around, I have to be up and about playing with Rosalie and preparing dinner, her bath, etc. It was really exhausting for the first couple months that I hardly got to enjoy the "glow" that comes with being pregnant.

Emotionally, I'm a lot better this time around. I'm not giving myself anxiety everyday by worrying about this baby's health - partly because I know what to expect for the next 9 months and also because I trust in God's will for us. Although, I do have a lot of other emotions that I didn't feel the first time around. I feel like time is going by much faster with this pregnancy because I'm trying to savor all the moments that I have left with Rosalie.  In a way, I fear that there is not enough room in my heart because I am SO in love with her. It feels a little selfish, but I am sad that I won't be able to  dedicate 100% of my time and attention to her anymore - even though I know that having a sibling will benefit her so much as time goes on.

In the end of it all, I really am so excited for the next 5 months to fly by. I can't wait to hear the words "one last push" because I know that all that will follow is that euphoric feeling of falling in love all over again. I am highly anticipating the upcoming gender appointment next month, and the excitement of choosing a name that comes with it. It's the beginning of a beautiful new journey for us and at this very moment, I couldn't be happier.

On that note - I really am excited to be writing in this blog again and I can't wait to write about my new experiences with being a mom for the second time around. I've been feeling a little guilty lately because I haven't been documenting this pregnancy as much as I did the first one - but hopefully there will be a lot more posts to come.

Bye Bye, Year One!

As this year comes to a close, I can't help but look back and smile at how this year as unfolded. This time last year I was enjoying my first week on maternity leave, writing off my constant contractions as Braxton Hicks, and indulging in the last days of my sweet slumber!

One year ago..

The first few months of Rosalie's life were a blur. I was barely sleeping, I was still in pain from recovery, and breastfeeding for the first time was difficult. I never realized how tough having a baby was and it took a lot of strength and patience to accept the reality of caring for a newborn. It also took some adjusting for me to get used to being stuck in the house at least 22 hours a day and never having time for myself anymore.

As the months went by, she grew while I learned. I learned every aspect of her personality, breastfeeding became a breeze, and leaving the house was now more difficult than staying home. I feel like I've evolved more this year than I ever have in my entire life. The process wasn't easy, but I feel like the ugly little caterpillar that had to endure months in a cocoon to finally emerge as a beautiful butterly.

This has been one of the best and most fulfilling years of my life. I said goodbye to partying and late nights and welcomed the world of early mornings and busy days with baby in tow.There are some mothers who are ready for the challenge right off the bat, and there are some, like me, who need some time to soak it all in. It might've taken me a few months, but I am happier now than I have ever been. I look back on her days as a tiny little thing, not able to move or speak and realize how much she needed me then. Looking at her now, it makes me so happy and proud to see a bustling baby girl who is healthy and smart and becoming more and more independent. It's like..Wow. Not only did Anthony and I make her out of nothing, but she grew into something quite special because of us and I'm deeply in love.

From her birth to her baptism and now her first birthday, I'm so thankful for the people who have always supported and loved us. I couldn't have done any of it without all the encouragement and help that I received from everyone. From the largest gifts to the smallest gestures, you've helped more than you'll ever know. To our loving family and friends who have been there for us from day one, THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart, I send you my love and gratitude.

It's kind of cool that Rosalie's birthday marks the start of a brand new year...it's the perfect way to welcome another 365 days of surprises! So here's to the beginning of 2012 and whatever challenges may come...Cheers!

Baby Talk

This is something that has been on my mind lately...an ever present situation...a question that I've been asked more often...When is it our turn to have baby #2?

I have a serious debate with myself about this topic every time the conversation comes up. A part of me wants to enjoy the time that I have with Rosalie before I have to start sharing my love and attention with another child, but the other part of me wants to give her a companion...a brother or sister that will be her playmate for life.

In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned how the thought of another baby terrified me. Admittedly, it still does. I caused myself a great deal of anxiety when I was pregnant. I constantly worried about the condition of the baby and my own health. It was really tough on my nerves. It may be selfish thinking, but how will I prepare myself for that again? I remember my palms sweating at every doctor's appointment, praying that her heartbeat was still there. I remember my sleepless nights knowing that I had an ultrasound appointment the next day and I begged the Lord that they would find nothing wrong. There are times when I think I can never put myself through that again, but then I remember how miraculous the process really was and how amazing I felt when finally saw my beautiful, healthy baby girl for the first time. Seeing her face everyday reminds me how truly lucky I am that all of my prayers were answered.

I wasn't too fond of my big belly when I
had it, but it looks great in pictures! Lol

I can make a list of things that I still worry about on a daily basis. But the list of joyful things that my family brings into my life is much longer. Having a child has been an emotional roller coaster for me. One minute I can be laughing hysterically as she dances to the Mickey's Clubhouse theme song in her playpen and the next minute I can be screaming in panic as she topples over and bumps her head. Can I go through double the worry with two children? It'll probably be a struggle. But I am sure that the joy of having another child is twice as rewarding.

When is it ever a good time to get pregnant? When Anthony graduates from grad school? When I am finally promoted to the position that I'd like to be at in my career? When we finally have our house? Our aspirations are never ending. I can't imagine there would ever be a time when we'd say "THIS is the perfect time to have a baby!" Although having a baby does cost some money, we can't just base the decision on our careers or financial situation, but rather our readiness to go through the emotionally and physically demanding task of having another child.


It's obvious that I get mixed emotions when it comes to expanding our family, but the most prominent emotion I feel is excitement for the possibilities to come. My mom always says to me: "Your clock is ticking. Buildling your family comes first. All of the other stuff can come later." It always gets me thinking. So, when WILL we start trying for baby #2? I guess the best time frame I can give right now is sometime before Rosalie's 2nd birthday. Although it is exciting to imagine another precious baby girl or baby boy in our lives, I know that we have to be smart about our timing and at least get through this next year without any big surprises if we want to reach our financial goals.I'm sure that the time will come eventually, but as of today, I think we will just continue to enjoy our sweet baby Rosalie... and the longer hours of sleep we're getting.

Just an Update

These past few months have been pretty hectic for us. We've had lots of big changes from Anthony going back to school part-time, to me changing career directions, to personal family struggles that we've had to overcome that weren't always so easy.

Hanging out on the beach of Puerto Vallarta

Luckily for us, we had planned a vacation with our friends to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico which happened to come at the perfect time. Right when I felt like I was going to blow my lid off, we were able to get a small escape from reality, just the two of us. It was beautiful there. The weather was perfect, we were in good company with some of our close friends, and we were ready to let loose. We stayed at Dreams All-inclusive Resort. This was our first time coming to Puerto Vallarta, let alone experiencing the luxury of all-inclusive, and let me tell you, we took full advantage of this! 24-hour room service, amazing waterfront restaurants, and cocktails included? What more could you ask for? Needless to say, we had a GREAT time. We missed our baby but mommy and daddy needed a break!

Rosalie is almost 9 months old now and her personality is really shining through. Her smiles are priceless and she does a little army crawl to get around. She babbles, shes screams, she sleeping less and less during the day and more during the night. Watching her grow is amazing. She is definitely getting to be very clingy to me, always looking around for me and wanting me to carry her. She screams bloody murder as soon as I walk out of the room! It's flattering but at the same time, I feel bad that she doesn't let other people play with her as freely as she once did when she was a couple months younger.

This has been a bit of a problem since she has recently started day care. She's only been there a couple times so I can't really tell you how well it's going. It's been really tough for me to leave her in the care of someone I barely know, but I definitely researched a lot of local day care options and I've found that this home day care was probably the best option for us. It breaks my heart knowing that she is not being taken care of the way that she would be if she was with me or her dad, but I'm hoping that she will adjust and so will I.

Happy Baby at 8 months old

I have also cut down my hours at work to only 3 days a week to be with her more often than not. For the past month I've been really torn about what I should do about child care but in the end I decided it was best to meet halfway and do day care only half the time and just cut down my time at work. I honestly wish I knew how other working moms do it. Especially moms with other kids. One of the reasons I'm scared to have another baby is finding child care options for two children. I always wish that we had more options...me being a full time work-at-home mom sounds ideal but how would I find such a job? You really have to pick and choose what sacrifices you make in life. To work or not to work? To be at home with your child or work to provide for your child? Either way, I know that I am very blessed to be working so I will continue to do what I feel is best for my family.

Although we've faced our challenges, I feel that we grow closer as a family everyday. Marriage and mommyhood is not always easy. Some days get the best of us but we do what we can to move forward and continue to grow as people and as parents. I really feel that these past two months have thrown it's fair share of challenges at us, but here we are, still madly in love and still happy. In the end I know that it really isn't about how many times life knocks you down, but how many times you choose to get up again.

So glad we made it...Look how far we've come, my baby

Together, we made it. The 3 of us have made it to month 4 of Rosalie's life, and like her, I am reaching my own  developmental milestones.

I've been singing a whole new tune these past few days, and believe me, it's a happier one. Every time I've read over that last post about being "real", I've realized how solemn I've been and how my emotional struggle of being a new mom has managed to ease itself comfortably between the lines of my entries. While I've had my fair share of baby blues, it feels so good to finally get something right and to start feel a little normal again.

The little lady

I was feeling emotionally conflicted because I wanted to be honest with myself and admit that being a parent was downright hard, but at the same time, I felt like the luckiest person in the world for being blessed with a healthy and beautiful baby girl. I struggled to accept all the changes that were happening in my life, along with all the new responsibilities of being a parent. My constant worrying and fear of change was causing me anxiety, and it showed.

But something happened. Like a slap in the face, we had a scare of an accident the day before we left for Miami. Rosalie was in the car with us, and when our car collided with the other one, every hair on my body stood up and my only thought was to throw myself onto her carseat to make sure that she was safe. No need to worry, the accident wasn't a bad one..but just enough to scare the begeezus out of me.

As we waited on the side of the road for help to come, I held Rosalie on my lap as she happily outlined the Mickey Mouse on my shirt with her little finger. I remember looking at her and being so relieved that she was safe, and even though she wasn't hurt and will probably never remember it, I wish she hadn't been in the car with us that day to experience that. Had something happened to her, I would've traded every sleepless night and sore muscle I've ever had just to rewind time. The thought of it alone makes me sick to my stomach.

This past month, I've come to realize that the problem wasn't that I was losing my sleep and sanity, the problem was that I struggled with being a perfect mom...and condering the fact that this is my first baby, I had no clue what I was doing. I resorted to books and websites...anything I could find that would tell me what was supposed to be happening and how my baby should be acting at this age and that. I had expectations...and when those expectations weren't fulfilled, I'd think to myself "What am I doing wrong" "Why isn't she sleeping through the night yet?" "Why is she so small?" I was trying to raise her "by the book" and obviously, that wasn't working. I was my biggest critic, and the pressure that I was putting on myself to be a good mom, to lose weight, be a good wife, and to never ask for help was really weighing down on me and affecting how I viewed myself as a mother...as a person.

Me and my chubby little princess

Since then, I've learned to just relax and follow my own cues and not some expert who is a complete stranger to me and family. I've been so much happier with myself as a parent because I've learned to let go of my expectations and just enjoy her and all the little things that make our time together so special. She's developing so quickly and learning new things everyday at such a fast rate that I want to slap myself for ever wanting to fast forward time. She laughs and coos, smiles and screams, and even reaches for things and plays with her own reflection. Before I know it, she'll be going to school and facing the world on her own, and as much as I want to keep her safe from pain and danger, I know I can't bubble wrap her and keep her at home forever.

Right now, I couldn't be any happier with where I'm at. I feel much more comfortable and confident as a mom...I'm learning to trust myself and my instincts. Her personality is really starting to shine and being with her is such a joy. Anthony and I are enjoying taking her out and letting her explore all her new surroundings, and so is she! Now that I'm back to work, every minute with her counts...So when she wakes up hungry at 3 a.m., or simply just wanting to be held, that's more than okay...because most of the time, I want to hold her too.

From Mere Mortal to Mom

Aside from sharing your baby's birth story, you begin to realize that motherhood in itself is a whole new journey that makes labor and delivery look like a distant thing of the past. Not many people talk too much in detail about the emotional rollercoaster of being a new parent. Since this blog is about my life journey and starting a new family, I'll try my best to share with my readers my emotional and physical experiences that I endure.

No parent can look you in the eye and tell you that bringing a baby home is easy. They'd be lying.
The first night in the hospital, little Rosalie would cry on and off every other hour or so and hated to be put down to sleep on her own. It was a tough transition bringing her home and having to be stuck to her 24/7. I read and read all these articles about newborn babies to see if this behavior was normal. Well, of course it is! What baby that is fresh out of the womb would be comfortable being put down in a dark, cold, crib by herself? It has taken some time and patience but I feel like I'm starting to understand her more and more which have made the nights easier.

These past 5 days with my baby and husband have brought about a number of feelings and realizations about myself:

1) My Body is Amazing: Sorry, no. But that I didn't meant that I'm slipping into my skinny jeans already, but my self worth has sky-rocketed through the roof! Knowing that I am supporting another human being and that her life depends on me makes me appreciate myself much more. Breast feeding has not been easy. It's tedious, time consuming, and can be painful, but it's up to me to ensure that Rosalie gets the best care possible, and if that means making that sacrifice, I am more than willing to do it. Even if it means she'll have to be stuck to me for the coming months, I have to keep telling myself that her infancy will only last so long and soon enough, I'll be missing these nights when all she needed in life was to be hugged by her mommy and daddy.

2) My heart has opened wider than I ever thought possible: Nothing scares me more than something happening to my baby or my husband. When Rosalie was born, she was a bit jaundiced (there was a chemical imbalance in her blood which caused a slight yellowing in her skin. This is common in perfectly healthy babies). Her levels were a little high, and when I went to my follow up appointment, she had lost about 10% of her birthweight, which is the maximum she could lose before it becomes a cause for concern. When we got home from the doctor, I sat on the floor, held my baby and cried. It was the worst feeling in the world! Seeing her get her blood drawn 3 days in a row and knowing that there was something wrong took more of a toll on me than anything that has ever happened to my own body. I sat there and cried, and prayed harder than I ever have that she would just be ok.
Needless to say, we went back to the doctor's today, and she has gained 5 oz in the last 2 days which is great! And her level of jaundice has began to digress, meaning that there is no threat to her and no treatment needed. It feels like a million pounds has been lifted off of my shoulders. I know there will be more incidents in the future, so I know I must prepare myself  for those future times that she will scrape her knee or gets her feelings hurt. It's hard to be jaded or self centered once your a mom. I've gained much needed perspective and my compassionate side is blossoming, and I'm finally growing up. It's a beautiful thing.

3) With the addition of a baby, my priorities and values become clear. I am so impressed by my husband who has shown me that we are more of a team that I could have ever imagined. He is sacrificing just as much as I am and although he has had his moments of frustration, he has taken it all in stride. He kisses Rosalie with every chance that he gets. He rocks her to sleep and talks to her non-stop. He's been the "man of the house". Even the simplest moments where I fall asleep on the recliner and he sleeps on the couch next to me just so I'm within arms reach makes me warm and fuzzy inside. I have made my own little family, and right now nothing matters more than providing what I can and making sure that I'm the best mommy and wife that I can be.

There's so much more to write, and so much more to say about being a new mom so I hope that I have been able to touch some of you in a new way that I have never shared before. I want to get all the nitty gritty stuff eventually, such as my postpartum weight loss journey, but for now, I'm going to close my laptop and give me husband and baby a kiss because my heart is overflowing with love just writing this.

Welcome to the world, Rosalie Mae!

You always envision what your birth experience would be like, and after 9 months of anticipation, it's hard to believe that I'm actually on here writing about mine! You always read about it in the books, but it's so surreal when it finally happens to you. I wanted to type it while the feelings are still fresh, and thanks to all the help that I've been getting from my husband and 2 sets of parents, I'm able to sit here and do it.

The week between Xmas and New Year's was my first week off of work, so I took my time cleaning the house and visiting friends...running all my errands while I still could. I was getting awfully tired of being pregnant...the discomfort, the tightness in my stomach, and the sleepless nights. I was constantly joking with my friends that I was ready for this baby to come out! Little did I know, she was as ready as I was!

It was just another New Year's Eve and  Anthony and I were looking forward to celebrating our first midnight countdown together. We had scheduled to take maternity pictures with our good friends, Bethies and CQ. At 3 PM, we started our shoot and at by 5PM, we are eating dinner at Yard House with them. I felt totally fine, just a little exhausted from the walking around and all the posing we were doing from the pictures. I did feel awfully hungry though! It's a good thing I ate a pretty hefty meal, I'm sure it contributed in helping me keep my energy up for all the pushing I was about to do.

When we got home, at around 6:30, I wanted to take a nap before we went out to my Uncle's house down the street for a New Year's Eve party. So, I hopped into bed. I tossed and turned a little bit so I never really got into a deep sleep. I was laying on my side, when all of a sudden I felt a POP. I figured I should go to the bathroom and check it out cause I was starting to get a little crampy. When I stood up, I felt a trickle of water go down my leg. Uh-oh. I grabbed a dirty shirt from the laundry and covered up. Lo and behold, the t-shirt was getting wetter by the minute and I knew my water had broken. The first thoughts in my head were "Nooo way" and "What do I do now!". I ran outside and Anthony was playing video games. "Babe, something happened" I said as I showed him the stained t-shirt. He smiled in anticipation and said "Is it time?? I'll go grab the stuff". He was so calm and composed and my head was running 100 mph on all the things I had to do before we left, why wasn't I feeling contractions yet, who should I call, etc. I grabbed my phone and the first person I called was my dad. Told him my water broke, and coincidentally, they were 5 minutes away from my house because they were already on their way to the party down the street. They told my sister who was in Hawaii at the time. She was devastated that she couldn't be here.

By the time they got to my place, I told my dad to take Romwell to their house and my mom would ride with me and Anthony to the hospital. When we got in the car, I started feeling the pain of the contractions. They were about 5 minutes apart, not too strong, but pretty painful. They felt like really strong period cramps that would escalate and then drop off. When we got to labor and delivery at the hospital (felt like a 2 hour car ride!), they admitted me right away because I still had the stained tshirt with me and they knew it was my water. The pain was starting to get worse and worse as we waited for the midwife to come and check my dilation. When she got in, her eyes widened and she said "Wanna guess how dilated you are?" 3-4 centimeters I thought (10 means you're read to go). "Nope, You're 8." Holy crap! This baby was coming tonight! It was only 9 pm so I hoped that she'd stay in there for 3 more hours so she could make it to the New Year and have a 1/1/11 birthday.

The pain was starting to get unbearable and I asked for the epidural right away. It took a little while for the anesthesiologist to come, but by 10:30 I was pain free. I was feeling fine and even let my visitors come in and say hello as I waited to dilate to 10. My parents, Anthony's Parents, his brother Paulo and his Girlfriend Cheryl, and my cousin Kristina all waited in the waiting room. One by one they said hello to me and were so surprised by my calm composure and the fact that I was still smiling, full makeup and all (still on from the photoshoot).

By 11:00, the midwife came in and checked me. I was 10 centimeters and just about ready to go! They were also hoping that I'd be their first baby of the New Year because they'd feature us in the paper and we'd get a ton of nice gifts from the hospital. Since I wasn't feeling the need to push yet, I was determined to make it to 12! They said that they would let her labor down for a little bit anyway (let her head slide down on it's own so I don't have to push so much) so we'd check again at 11:45 how she was doing.

At 11:45, midwife checked again. "Hello there! Her head is coming out! Get ready to push!" Well, that was fast. At 11:50, I gave it maybe 3-4 sets of strong pushing and by 12:14, my little Rosalie Mae was born into the world. I requested a mirror so I could watch her birth, and it was truly amazing! I must say, it really helped with my pushing cause I could see how much progress I was making. When I saw her little head and body slip out, it was so surreal. They put her on my chest and I was so overwhelmed with love and awe. "She's perfect! Oh my gosh she's perfect" is all I remember saying. As she laid there crying, I was still pain free and couldn't believe how fast it all happened. Just 4 hours ago, I was laying in bed watching TV! It was truly a blessing that I had a safe, fast, and pain free delivery. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I'm so happy that she's here, and that she's healthy. At 5 Pounds 13.2 ounces, 18 1/2 inches long, she is my tiny bundle of joy and Anthony and I are still in amazement that we made such a beautiful little girl.

The past few nights have taken quite a bit of adjusting. The healing process has probably been harder than the labor itself. I can't wait to start feeling and looking like myself again and I'm very excited for everyone to meet her! We are still a little exhausted and adjusting to our new schedule, so we'll give it a little time before we going out and saying hello to everyone. I am truly grateful for all the love we have gotten. It has been an incredible experience and I STILL can't believe that she's here. I am looking forward to spending the rest of our lives watching her grow.

Thank heaven for my little girl.