One Week Postpartum

Ever wonder what happens after people go home with their baby? The trend that I usually see with my friends who find out they're expecting is that they post a plethora of "preggo" pics all the way up to the adorable hospital photo where all the newborns get the same ol' hat and blankie to announce that the little one has finally come. For a few months the pictures slow down except for an occasional close up of a sleepy newborn - then BAM! A couple months later they're back at it posting pictures of themselves looking great and happier than ever with a super cute and magically chubby baby by their side (3 months of religiously nursing will do that). Sound familiar?

The first few months of having a newborn are grueling and at the same time very rewarding. This first week for us has had its ups and downs - there are moments when I am so filled with joy and just love soaking in every minute of our family of four. But there are also moments when I'm teetering on the edge of sanity wishing that I could be four places at once. This time around, the balancing act for me has been between Rosalie and Recovery.

Even when we started TRYING for this baby I was scared of how Rosalie would react. The main reason why I wanted another child is because I wanted Rosalie to have a sibling. A playmate for life. Don't get me wrong - she LOVES this baby. She has been so anxious to hold him, kiss him, and hug him. She thinks he's a little doll and wants to take him EVERYWHERE. Even with the littlest noises he makes, she can't help but swoon over his cuteness. At the same time, I can also tell she's dealing with emotions that she doesn't know how to handle. She seems resentful now that our attention is split between the two of them. Sometimes I can't tell if it's all a part of her "terrible twos" or if her temper tantrums have doubled. The other day, she was so upset with me because I wouldn't get up from nursing Elijah to follow her into her bedroom. She didn't want to speak to me and she quietly cried in her bed. I felt SO bad. That topped with an overdose of estrogen and I was sent into a crying fit of my own. "My poor baby", I thought to myself. We've had a few moments like this but I just have to keep telling myself that it takes some serious adjusting from every member of the family when a new baby comes home. And just knowing that Rosalie is going to love life a little more because she has a baby brother to share it with in the future makes me feel just a tad bit better.

Recovery time? Hardly existent. It's definitely been a struggle now that there are two kids in the picture. This time around, I definitely expected the sleepless nights and the half sane days, so that's not what is so bad. What has been difficult for me is dealing with my self image and learning to take it easy. Elijah has been an amazing baby thus far. He eats, sleeps, and poops. Probably all in a 3 hour cycle that just repeats itself so its just a matter of me getting used to his schedule and learning to sleep when he sleeps. I've been so busy trying to accommodate for Rosalie and keeping the house clean for visitors that I haven't really had time to rest. I even tried to fit a little walk in the other day because I am SO anxious to exercise again but I failed miserably and ended up back at home with a sore bottom and a lot of regret. My body has definitely taken it harder this time around - I gained about 32 lbs with this pregnancy and came home from the hospital a mere 11 lbs lighter. I feel and look so different that it's hard not to be a little bummed about it. All I know is that once I hit my 6 week postpartum check up and the doc says its ok, I am definitely going to find time to go to the gym and at least TRY to start feeling like myself again. Trying not to beat myself up about how I look has been a big part of recovery for me...It HAS only been one week so I'm hoping that breastfeeding combined with giving my body the time it needs to heal will help me start feeling better.

Sleepy Newborn Photo #1

Having a baby is euphoric. You leave the hospital feeling like a champ for popping out another human being, but once the fog has lifted, you see that the road to a full recovery (mentally and physically) is full of twists and turns. If you're anything like me, you find yourself up and breastfeeding a fussy baby at 3 o'clock in the morning with sore nipples and a pounding headache trolling online feeds  for other new moms who are just as crazy as you are. But, speaking from experience, it took me about 3 months the first time to feel in tune with my motherhood and finally shake off the baby blues so I expect about the same, if not more, for this one.

Having survived this first week with two kids was quite the experience in many good ways. There are moments when I ask myself why I do the things I do, but I look over and see my loving and supportive husband -  half as exhausted as I am with Rosalie climbing on his back asking him to "crawl faster daddy!" - and then I look down in my arms and see my perfect little Elijah who  is healthy and peacefully sleeping - and then I remember: I truly love this life of mine and it can only get better from here.

Elijah Anthony: His Birth Story

While the details are fresh in my mind, I'd like to share Elijah's birth story with the world. Disclaimer: Graphic details exposed in this VERY long post that has very minimal editing.

It all started Monday night, August 12th, when I woke up in the middle of the night with major cramping in my lower abdomen. Since I've experienced contractions before, I knew that these pains were not contractions because they were not regular and were not radiating throughout my entire midsection like I had experienced before. I was SO worried because I just hit 36 weeks and I did not want to believe that I was in labor, so I slept through the pain. Luckily when I woke up in the morning, I was just fine. Luckily I didn't wake Anthony up and cause him to panic for nothing!

Tuesday morning, I woke up, excited to be on my first day of disability leave from work, and had all these plans for myself. I ran some last minute errands and spent the rest of the day with my sister with lunch and a movie. I DID notice though that my stomach had dropped a few centimeters and the baby was no longer pressing on my ribcage, but was now very heavily pushing on my bladder. I figured that the pains I had the night before were indication that the baby had "dropped". I read up on it through Google (like all paranoid mothers do) and confirmed to myself that I had at least a week or two before baby was here so there was nothing to worry about! Boy, was I wrong.

First Family photo

I woke up on 5:15 on Wednesday morning because I felt a trickling between my legs. I thought to myself "How embarrasing! I think I just wet the bed". I woke up, saw a big puddle of liquid beneath me and got up to go to the bathroom. I absolutely did not think my water broke because like before, I was in denial because it was so early! But when I went to the toilet and saw clear liquid that was tinged with blood, I knew that it was time.

"Babe...My water broke!" With that, Anthony got up and started getting ready for the hospital. Luckily, the hospital bag was MOSTLY packed. I wasn't feeling any pain or contractions yet, so we very calmly called our families, and since we did not want to wake Rosalie, we decided to wait for my Father in Law to come to our apartment and take her back to their house whenever she woke up. When he got there at around 6:00 am, we headed for the hospital.

The 15 minute drive felt like an eternity. I sat there, with a soaked tshirt between my legs and very minimal contractions, worrying myself half to death because I was only 36 weeks and 1 day along. All that went through my mind was "I hope he doesn't have to spend time in the NICU" "I pray that everything checks out okay" "Will everything go smoothly enough to where I can have a natural labor?" Anthony was so great during the whole thing. He kept reassuring me that everything was fine and that God had planned this out for a reason. In the back of my mind, I was also completely bummed that I did not get a week or two of R&R before baby came.

After checking in, the doctor at triage confirmed that my water had ruptured and I was about 3-4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Depending on how fast I progressed, I could be there from 2 hours to 20 hours. Since it was my 2nd baby, they figured that I would go fast. My contractions were getting pretty strong at this point, but were still quite bearable. I did ask for the epidural as soon as I could get it though because in my mind, the less pain, the better.

They got me admitted and checked into a delivery room probably by 7:30am. The doctor checked  on me and I had dilated to 5-6 cm in just 1 hour. We knew then that it would be fast! My mom, sister, and Anthony were in the room with me and all of us were shocked at how fast I was progressing. We knew the baby would be here probably within the next couple hours.

Big sis celebrating with some "bubbly"

As fast as this labor was going, it definitely felt like a slower pace than my first. Everything was so calmly executed and I really had time to absorb all the details of it. I  was in so much pain with the first one by the time that I got to the hospital that I do not remember much of it at all. This time around, I DID feel the sting of the epidural in my back. I DO remember the catheter and the pain of the doctors checking me every 30 minutes. I WAS able to to notice all the preparation going on around me. It was good, but at the same time, very bad. Lol.

After the epidural kicked in, it was pretty much a waiting game from there. We sat around, they ate breakfast while I starved (lol), and had time to notify our friends and family that I was in labor. I had asked the nurse so many questions about late pre-term babies, I knew she could tell that I was so worried. By the time the doctor came to check on me at 10:25 am, I was fully dilated, and baby's head was already making its way through the birth canal. I asked for a mirror again for the pushing so I can gauge if I was making any progress or not, so even I saw his head peeking through! When they said the words, "time to push" I all of a sudden got nervous because in about 5 minutes, my life would be changed forever and I wasn't sure if it was going to be good or bad.

Spotlights on. Legs in stirrups. Everyone in position. I gave one BIG push and his head was out. "One More!" they said. Deep breath. PUSH. It felt like a wet towel slipping out of my vagina followed by a strong gush of fluid. In my peripheral vision I saw my sister and mom get taken aback with shock. Anthony's eyes lit up and I heard the cries of my son. They lifted him up into my vision and there he was, this perfect little boy, wailing loudly for his mother, beautiful in every single way. He did not get whisked away to the NICU, but instead, was placed in my arms where we locked eyes for the first time and then I knew...Everything was going to be okay and I was in love. So so in love.

He scored 9's on his apgar test and weighed in at 5lbs 11oz and was breathing beautifully. He even had a great sucking reflex which they said was their biggest concern for late preterm babies. I could not stop thanking the Lord for our little blessing because even though it was not in MY plan that he would be here this early, it was his. And regardless about how worried I was, everything turned out wonderful, as it always has.

Fast forward to today: It's so great to be home from the hospital. We spent 48 hours there just to make sure that his health checked out and we were all set to go home. Anthony and I laugh about how funny our 2nd time at the hospital was because we were seasoned veterans at this parenting thing. We remember how the first time we were there with Rosalie, we called the nurse every hour asking how to do something. This time, we really just didn't want to be bothered. But we sincerely do have an appreciation for nurses now because the people who took care of us were just wonderful! (Or maybe we're just biased because many of our friends are in the same field?) Either way, we were so happy to be back in our bed, at home with our 2 kids. Rosalie has her moments of jealousy, but for the most part, is just as in love with her brother as we are.

As for Elijah, he is such an amazing baby. He looks so different to me than his sister does, but they have very similar features, like their lips from their dad. He's such a good baby, hardly ever cries, and is getting used to sleeping in his bed and not being so spoiled like Rosalie was! (Lol, we've learned our lesson). I have had to supplement with formula because his blood sugar was low, so that's kind of a bummer, but I'll save all THOSE details for a later post.

Daddy and Son = <3

Anthony is an AMAZING dad. He is so hands-on with both our kids that it amazes me. I've probably only changed like 2 diapers since Elijah has been born and I am so relieved to have him here with me as my partner. I am just in awe of his demeanor during this entire time and I seriously love and appreciate him so much more everyday (As if that was possible). But no, that doesn't mean I love him enough to have another one of his children...anytime SOON at least ;)

For now, It's time for us to enjoy this newborn phase together as a family and get adjusted to our new chapter in life with baby Elijah. Thank you to all our friends and family for your continued love and support..My heart has grown about 3 times larger already, not just for my babies and husband, but because of all of you as well. From the bottom of our hearts, we are truly thankful to be this blessed and wish nothing but the same for all of our loved ones. This story is DEFINITELY "to be continued".  =D