Living a Thankful Life

Sometimes I feel as if I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I am such an anxious person, worrisome of my own fears, and there are some nights that it eats me alive. What do I worry about? Everything and anything. Random things. Cancer. Ebola. Natural disasters. Things that can hurt the people that I love. I sit on my phone at night and I read the news. I cry about stories of suffering children and missing loved ones. I fear the rapists and the child abusers that were caught just one city away. Like I said....The weight of the world.

I always pray and ask God to take this weight off my shoulders. Sometimes I feel as if he and I are constantly fighting for the driver's seat of MY life...I always have trouble sitting back and relinquishing control. For years I've known that a good believer does not worry so much, but then why was I never able to shake off all of these worries that bombarded my thoughts?

I really just wanted to share this miraculous story of how God answered my prayers, in the strangest but most glorious of ways. Weeks before my birthday, I had been worrying myself to death about my kids getting sick with all of these strange diseases going around. I was always thinking about what bills were due and when. I was starting to feel the stress of our mortgage hitting our checkbooks. All of this put me on edge and made it hard for me to sleep at night.

The day before my birthday, I got into a bad car accident and totaled our Highlander. I was devastated. God KNEW that I was already struggling with bills. He KNEW I had enough worries on my plate. WHY would he let me go through something like this? Sure, I had only walked away with a few bruised ribs and some very sore muscles , but why would he let me experience something so terrible right before my birthday?  Why couldn't I have avoided that accident altogether? I was broken.

The weeks following my accident were emotional for me. I was bombarded with calls and letters from my insurance and the insurance of those involved, forcing myself to relive that moment over and over again. What were we going to do about a new car? A new car payment was the last thing that I wanted to be added to my burdens. I was heavy in my own sorrow but continued to pray for the strength to take blame for this and to "roll with the punches" since there was not much I could do about it now. We just waited for the dust to settle, and just hoped to get close to Blue Book value for our car to be able to afford a new one.

Then, we got the call from our insurance. It was nothing short a of a miracle. We were getting about $9,000 more dollars than we had hoped for from our totaled car. I was in shock. Not only was this a blessing in itself because we wouldn't have to worry about the burden of paying for a new SUV, but $9,000 was exactly the amount of money that we needed to pay off the debt we had acquired since buying our house. My mind was blown. I was in complete shock. How could something like this fall so perfectly into place? How could I, so lacking in faith and so obsessed with having control of my own life, receive a blessing such as this? God not only answered my prayers, but far surpassed anything that I could have ever imagined.

Here I was, so busy worrying about tomorrow and what the future would bring, that I was forgetting to enjoy the now. My car accident could've been a lot worse. I could've been seriously hurt or even killed. But I wasn't. I was only given what I could handle...And although I groaned and moaned about the situation even as I prayed, God never stopped listening. He had a plan for me all along. He used the accident to open my eyes..to stop worrying so much about what I can't control. How can I be so worried about catching the Ebola virus that I missed the fact that I could die in a split second just driving home from work? Seems so silly, doesn't it?

I know that as a parent, we can't protect our children or ourselves from everything. This incident has really reminded me to count my blessings each and everyday and to never rely on myself, but to always trust in the plans that the Lord has for us. Just because I pray and I believe, doesn't mean that me or my loved ones won't ever suffer the pain and sorrows of this world. But it does mean that I will never ever have to go through it alone. It reminded me that sitting in the driver's seat all by myself is a very lonely place to be, but being the passenger of a vehicle that is driven by the most loving and generous creator is a much better position to be in.

I thought this was the perfect post just in time for Thanksgiving. It encouraged me to just examine my life, to pay attention to my thoughts and words, and see how much thanksgiving I express on the daily. Do I murmur and complain about things all the time, or am I thankful? Since then, I've been trying to focus all of my energy on just being thankful instead of worrying so much or constantly asking for more. If you want to challenge yourself, just try to get through an entire day without uttering one word of complaint. It's hard. Really hard! But just keep trying to develop an attitude of thanksgiving in every situation and watch as your intimacy with God increases and he pours out more blessings than ever before.

So, if you're a worrisome individual just like me, or experiencing a tough obstacle in life, just remember that things will always be okay in the end...And if it's not okay, then it's not the end yet. Be thankful for everything that you have and never let the worries of tomorrow strip you of the happiness of today. Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving and hug your loved ones extra tight!!